Lifestyle

A farewell letter to the friend I have lost

photo diary: Road trip to the mountains

Hi,

It’s been a while. We don’t talk anymore. 

As much as I miss those long conversations about meaningless subjects which were for us so important at the time, as much as I miss those unexpected, unpredictable, wonderful bursts of laughter, I know now that sooner or later we were meant to go our separate ways.

I wouldn’t be honest if I told you that our break up didn’t hurt me or that I didn’t blame you for it, but what I can tell you now is that all I feel is a sense of content. 

I am not struggling anymore, I’m not picking my brain trying to understand what went wrong, where we went wrong, all I want is to let you know that I hope you’re happy with the choices you’ve made and the ones you will make in the future, and although I won’t be by your side anymore, I will forever hold on to the dear memories we created together. We were there for each other when we needed one another the most. We learned from each other. We consoled each other. We were friends. But it happened and we parted ways.

Don’t ask me now to remind you what was the decisive event that led us to the end, it’s not important anymore, just like the past is not important anymore. 

If one day I saw you in the street on my way to work, I wouldn’t ignore you, I would look at you and say hello, but trust me when I tell you that I have come to this final epiphany and peace of mind only in recent times.

Keep in mind, you know me and you know how hard it is for me to forgive and forget.

But it is you we are talking about. You were by my side for most of my life and I was by your side for most of yours and suddenly everything changed.

No, sorry, nothing changed, we changed. You started prioritising some elements in your life that were not as important for me and when that happened we both knew we couldn’t go back. Maybe that’s why we never really gave it a shot. I never tried to fix it and you never did either and that’s fine.

Now I’m here, in another continent, thousands of miles away and you’re still there.

I want you to know that I do ask about you occasionally and often I think about what we had, what I thought was a very special friendship, and sometimes I wonder if you think and ask about me as well and if that’s the case then I hope we will be able to one day say hello when we bump into each other in the street without feeling discomfort or uneasiness and maybe we will end up getting a coffee together and talking about the old days, but until then, my lost friends, I can only say one thing to you: goodbye.

Walking around

 

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