This is definitely a weird year. 2020 will be remembered as the year in which all my plans got flipped.
Here’s to 28
So many things have changed since last November and yet I feel like I haven’t moved at all. As soon as I made a step forward it felt as if someone was holding me and dragging me back three steps.
I’ve had ups and downs and while my life is completely different from what it was a year ago I still feel stuck. I won’t lie, at the beginning of 2020 I was having so many doubts, about my life, my career, my life choices. I was basically having a mid life crisis at 27!
When the first lockdown began and I lost my job, I saw it as a way to focus on myself and find out what I really wanted from my life and for my future. I thought: “ok, I can do this, focus on other interests and see where that takes you.” The situation wasn’t ideal, but I was trying to look for that silver lining.
During the Summer, I started focusing more and more on my passions and on seeing family and friends while social distancing. It felt as if I could get a bit of my normal life back if I focused on that and set a schedule for myself. Did it work? I think it did for the Summer months, but as soon as Fall hit I got into a new rut.
I started really thinking about all the things I used to do and that I couldn’t do anymore and that’s when I realised that maybe, just maybe, that first crisis I had back in March wasn’t real. Did I really want to change my whole life? The universe gave me a taste of what I could do if I walked away from my old life and looking at it now, I don’t particularly enjoy it.
I’ve discovered some new places, I’ve met new people and I’ve made some interesting experiences, but I do miss my life pre-2020 as much as anyone else.
We are so close to 2021 now and with it a whole new set of expectations and hopes are taking place in my mind. Will the next year bring some new positive surprises? All we can do is wait and hope for the best.
Here’s to 28!