I disappeared for a while. I didn’t do it on purpose, I just didn’t have much to write about and I think that living my life without pressuring myself to write is definitely a good choice.
I left not only the blog, but the country as well. I went back to Italy, to my hometown and that’s where I realized how funny, unpredictable and sometimes very annoying life can be.
Taking a Leap of Faith
Sometimes life forces you to learn a lesson even though you don’t think you need it or want it. It also forces you to face your fears and find closure.
I believe that I’m not the shy, quiet girl I once was in high school, but for some reason when I saw the guy I used to like in high school sitting at the table beside the one my friends and I were given, all of a sudden I went back to being that girl.
All those emotions that once were alive in me and that I buried inside somehow came rushing back out and all I could do was grab a stool, sit at the table with my friends and pretend as well as I could that I was fine. I kept telling myself that I am a confident, independent woman and that I’ve outgrown the shy, little girl I once was.
To my surprise I managed to keep my calm and my friends didn’t even realize what I had been going through until the end of the night, when he stood up to leave.
Why am I sharing this little, futile encounter? because after that meeting I realized that I needed to see him one more time to get the closure I didn’t get years ago. I saw the way he behaved and I realized that I have outgrown not only that shy, little girl but him as well.
Taking a leap of faith involves having a basic belief in yourself. This is what I learned from this experience. I don’t want to feel like I’m losing myself and my self worth, especially not because of a guy.
Next time I see him, I will keep my head up and smile, he can keep looking down and ignoring me if he wants, but I know I will be ok.