I met Mr. Nice at the beginning of January 2018. Our time together was brief and he disappeared from my life as quietly as he had entered. I never understood what went wrong and till this day sometimes a look back at that time and think of what I did wrong.
Introducing Mr. Nice
I call him Mr. Nice because I believe he truly is a nice guy at heart and although I still have a hard time forgetting the way we left things, I had to face the fact that he’s not that bad to people in distress.
I won’t lie, it hurt quite a bit at first, ghosting is a very common tool nowadays and I’m no stranger to the art myself, but with him, it caught me off-guard. I wasn’t expecting him to leave things hanging unfinished and when I saw him again I knew I wasn’t going to make a scene about the whole situation, I just thought what’s the point?
So I left the whole situation unfinished and I told myself I’d let it go. ‘He’s not worth it, what an a…..e!’ I had my friends on my side telling me that I had done nothing wrong, that these things happen and that you know, there are plenty of fish in the sea..
Fast forward to last night, exactly a year after we first met and there I was, getting on the bus, after work, sitting in my seat, opening my bag to get my headphones out when I look up and I see Mr. Nice stepping on the bus. He looks at me, I stare back astonished.
It’s one of those scenes that I had played in my mind thousands of times, the way I would look, the way I would act, full of confidence and flawlessly careless. He would be the loser in the situation and I’d come out of it on top.
I had planned it all and still, somehow, nothing went the way I wanted it to.
He looks back at me, smiles, says hi and starts moving forward. He sits on the seat beside me. A good choice, there’s a divider between us, which means he’s far enough not to make things too uncomfortable and close enough to make small talk.
He begins: “Hey, how have you been?” I answer: “Good, and you?”
Mind you, I’m not in the mood to deal with this kind of awkward conversation after a long day.
I’m still clutching my headphones in my right hand ready to end the conversation when he asks me another question.
Soon after that we’re fully talking, laughing and I realize to my own dismay that I’m actually enjoying this twisted encounter.
When the bus stops at the subway station, I find out that he’s taking the same direction I am and he’s even going to get off at my stop!
So we get on the train, keep talking about futile subjects until the moment comes and I realize why he’s Mr. Nice.
He sees a young girl crying a few seats away from where we’re sitting and he asks me if he should go ask her if she’s ok.
I tell him if he wants to go he should go.
He looks at her again, looks at his bag, and tells me he’ll be right back and asks me to watch his bag for him.
When he comes back he tells me that he sees people crying on the subway a lot, especially at night, and that even asking them how they’re doing, acknowledging that they are there and how they’re feeling can help.
Yes, I told you! that’s why I call him Mr. Nice.
In a big city like Toronto, sometimes we are so caught up in our own problems that we forget about the people struggling around us. I liked that he was there to remind me about that.
After this event, we got to our stop, said goodbye and went our own ways.
I know, not quite the movie ending, but hey, life isn’t a movie after all!
Why did I just write this futile encounter you might ask. Well, after leaving him, I realized that he is a nice guy, caring and compassionate and the fact that we didn’t end things on a good note last year doesn’t mean that he’s a bad guy. We all make mistakes and we all hurt people, sometimes unaware of it.
I’m not excusing his behaviour towards me, I’m still hurt, and sadly I do hold grudges, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t value his good heart. I will probably see him again in the future and maybe next time I’ll find the courage to reenact my dream and I’ll finally ask:
What went wrong?
